An odd smirk followed by "You come here a lot" is not what you want to hear when at the customs desk waiting to come into the US. Immediately I expected the worst - an armed SWAT team absailing from the ceiling to lead me off into a quiet room for interrogation while the snapping sounds of latex gloves ricochet out of the distant bowels of the customs hall.
When travelling for work, you get asked some interesting and always flummoxing questions on your way in to a country - one particular favorite appears to be "When did you last come to the United States", the other more boring question is "what is the purpose of your visit to the United States, Business? - what kind of business?". After 8 hours sat on a plane cursing myself for choosing chicken over beef again - the questions at customs always seem to throw me. So much so that as I stand in line for hours waiting to have questions fired at me by the seriously grumpy immigration official, I prepare answers to all the questions I have had before so that I don't freeze during my passport stamping/fingerprinting session.
However, this particular incident did not start well. The person in front of me was obviously not familiar with customs procedures and had even more difficulty than me in coming up with plausible answers to strangely suprising questions. Then I made matters worse because I waited to be called. Usually not waiting to be called is a shoutable offence. But in this particular case, unbeknown to me, I was expected to go forwards without being called. In the end I got shouted at for my hesitation - not a good start.
Then came the swipe of the passport and some tapping at the computer followed by an evil smirk and the words "you come here a lot." I was expecting a question - this was clearly a statement of fact. The lack of a question mark left me in a spin - should I respond to a statement? What was that visible (if fleeting) display of emotion all about? - I'd never seen such a brazen display of humanity at the customs booth before. This was clearly an un-usual encounter and it clearly wasn't going to end well.
The official simply said "I did you the last 3 times". He didn't bother asking any questions - he just stamped my passport, performed the fingerprinting/photo taking dance without another word (though when I knew to swap fingers and then look at the camera at the correct time it raised another smile). He then sent me on my way. As I look at my passport now I can see that of the 12 US entrance stamps in my couple-year-old passport, his writing is on 7 of them.
However, the encounter left me stunned - this was almost a conversation (albeit a little one-sided). As I left the customs hall I nearly thought of a clever response but by then the opportunity had been lost.
At least I have a new scenario to mull over for the next time I find myself waiting hours to get through customs.
Loved it bro. I've a lot of similar experience and for me it's don't say anything more than what you are asked. That as worked for me in the past so i'm sticking with it.
Cheers,
ET
Ahh - a magnificent chance to use the french phrase: "l'esprit d'escalier", the spirit of the staircase. That moment when you think of that fantastic reposte and that it just long enough after the fact to render it impotent.
I've come to the conclusion that standing in the queue is actually part of the security check. Being utterly bored and losing track of where you are is probably the best way to display the fact that you aren't bricking it.
Anyway you *know* it's wishful thinking, just think what might have happened if you'd got that quip out. Don't have nightmares..
The next time you get stuck into an interesting coding problem or derive satisfaction from answering some tricky question on any of the forums you monitor - ponder how lucky you are not to have his job - choice of Chicken or Beef pales in comparison.
but yes we've all been there ...
like the time I was leaving LA and the security lady brought me back my brand new bag and said it got torn while they were checking it - no appology / nada - what can you say ... she looked very menacing and she was [as they say in all good ganster movies] carrying ...